Adoption Reimagined: The Heart of You Matters

The way you handle other people’s gratitude shows your heart’s health. 

Some cannot be thankful or show gratitude towards others because …. I’ll just say it… they think it’s all about them. Is that you? Are you incapable of showing gratitude towards others because you filter everything through your broken story! 

It is possible to acknowledge other people‘s viewpoint and simultaneously, not adopt their position. How? Don’t compare. 

“Even if your situations are completely different, offering a compassionate ear and appropriate reaction can be a balm for many hurt feelings. No story can be compared with another.” Adoption Reimagined, page 24

Comparison focuses on the differences.

Comparison steals the joy and casts a shadow over gratitude.

It is healthy to learn to have a balanced state where one emotion does not take over. Is your personality bent towards the negative? Are you bossy or pushy?

Having that emotional balance is achievable. How? 

“… take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5

Here are some ways to take every thought captive:

1. Intentionally imagine yourself handling your emotions in a positive way when you are triggered before it happens.

2. Intentionally examine what you put into your mind, heart and soul. It will come out. Eliminate what is not beneficial.

3. What can you intentionally add to your lifestyle that is positive that changes your mindset? 

4. Keep life simple by decluttering your space. 

5. Make a list of what you are grateful for. Read it every morning and every night and add to it.

6. Determine what you can control and what you can’t. Pray for the things you can’t control and how you can have a different perspective about them.

The heart of your matter is this: Gratitude is a way to guide your feelings instead of allowing your feelings to guide you.

The way you react to others who are grateful shows your heart’s health. Do you need a tune-up? Do you need a heart transplant? Do you need to reimagine your adoption?

If you want to know more about the strategies from Adoption Reimagined, DM me and I’ll send you a list.

#AdoptionReimagined

#adopteehealing

#adoptivemom

#birthmothers

Adoption Reimagined: The Heart of You Matters

The way you think about your beginning shows your heart‘s health.

As an adoptee, I refuse to make up a whole fantasy story about my beginning. I can assume I must’ve felt abandoned and rejected when I was born. I could revert all the way back to my birth (52 years in my case) and say every bad thing in my life was because of it and what immediately followed. That is a waste of time.

Dwelling and obsessing on the past causes more heart trauma than heart health. It’s not beneficial to my life. How can pining away at something I know nothing about be beneficial to me at all? Reimagine your adoption.

“I decided it [adoption] would not make me feel loss. I would not be deceived to think I missed out. I decided it would be a fun fact to know, not a broken rudder steering me into a sea of emotion.” Adoption Reimagined page 73

What guides me and brings me comfort? Based on Truth, God knew exactly where I needed to be and how best to reach me.

“From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’ “ Acts 17:26-28

I focus on faith, peace, contentment, and joy. I refuse to let adoption, create confusion, drama, chaos, doubt, fear, bitterness, depression, anxiety, and cause my mind to make up struggles in my life that are not even there.

I focus forward on love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

I lean on this Truth: “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”Philippians 3:12-14

For me, this Scripture is proof that there is nothing back there I need. Not an explanation. Not an original birth certificate. Not the identity of my birth father. Not even an apology.

The heart of your matter is this by John Bevere, “How you react under pressure is how the real you reacts."

The way you react to your beginning shows your heart’s health. Do you need a tune-up? Do you need a heart transplant? Do you need to reimagine your adoption?

If you want to know more about the strategies from Adoption Reimagined, DM me and I’ll send you a list.

#AdoptionReimagined

#adopteehealing

#adoptivemom

#birthmothers

Adoption Reimagined NEWSLETTER has arrived! Issue #1

What is your biggest struggle with different perspectives on adoption? Mine? My biggest struggle is when other's assume my story should be like theres. I had a guy tell me I needed to search more because I obviously have not found my trauma yet. I really struggle to be nice when people generalize and say "All" or "Every" adoptee feels rejected. Then, they don't listen to my point of view and just say I am in the fog. The one-size-fits-all mentality is what I struggle with because I know it not like that for everyone in the adoption arena.