Adoption Reimagined New Year

It is January 1, 2026. I actually saw the new year after I woke up from the couch. I woke up again around 4am and had this song on my heart: “Create in me a clean heart, oh God, and renew a right spirit within me.” (“Oh sing to the Lord a new song…” Psalm 96:1)

At the beginning of a new year, people seem to ponder on what went right, what went wrong, and make plans for the future. Ponder this: do you dwell on the positive or do you dwell on all the negative that happened to you this past year? Are you the Eeyore or the Tigger?

I have not made a New Year’s resolution in more than a decade, but what I do make is a conscious effort that if I see something that reminds me of someone, I get it for them. The only time I have broken this is when the thing is way out of my price range.

So, what do you ponder about the for the future? I mean, after New Year’s Day parade and football, what do you want new? What do you desire in 2026? A new car? A new house? A new job?

Let me give you some options that are deeper than any temporary thing you might acquire this year.

*A new heart and spirit: “And I [the Lord] will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you.” Ezekiel 36:26

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A new self: “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you… and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.” Colossians 3:5, 10

*A New and Living Way through Jesus: “Therefore, brothers and sisters, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.”

Hebrews 10:19-20,22

*A New name: “… To the one who is victorious, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give that person a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it.” Revelation 2:17

*All things new: “He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” ...”

Revelation 21:5

So when you are planning some new changes, think about what is beneficial for your eternity. Spend time with God. Find an intimate relationship with Jesus. Declutter your mind of anger, bitterness and regret. Make a lifestyle full of grace, forgiveness and selflessness.

If you need help finding clarity in your life, accountability for your goals and challenges to make your plans a reality, let's chat. As a Life Coach, I have strategies to help you be who you forgot to be or didn't even know how to be.

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Adoption Reimagined: Turing What Could Have Been Into Something Beautiful

Hi! I am Erin. I like to say I was my mom and dad’s little girl before I was born.

My birth mother got pregnant, and my birth father broke it off and did not take responsibility. My birth mother’s parents took her to a maternity home for three months until I was born. It was not her choice. She prayed for a Christian couple to raise me surrounded by the love of the Lord. She did not get to hold me or see me. The nurse told her I was a girl and that I had all 10 fingers and all 10 toes, which translated to, “You had a healthy baby.” Her dad came to pick her up, and I was never spoken of again. But that didn’t mean she didn’t think of me all the time.

My mom could not have children. She and my dad tried many different methods without success. There were tests and shots and temperature readings. Every month was a letdown without success. They adopted my brother three years before me.

My parents raised us surrounded by the love of the Lord. We always knew we were adopted because Mom read us books about being adopted. Being adopted was just a fact about my life. Mom and Dad equated being adopted to how God also adopts His children. I grew up reading and believing the passages about being chosen, adopted into the family, having the same rights as biological children, and as my great-grandfather said, “It ain’t no different. You love them kids as your own!”

I was content with my loving family. I never had a deep need to search for my biological family. I knew whose I was, God’s child, and that led me to be secure in who I was regardless of my beginning. There are so many biblical truths that were our lifestyle that helped me sidestep trauma or depression or anxiety or feeling rejected that can accompany adoption.

I always said, “If God wants me to know my birth mother, He will work it out behind the scenes and let me know.” Well, He did give her to me.

At 36, out of the blue, I came across an adoption connect website that helped adoptees and birth mothers find their biological parents or children. So, kind of for fun, I put my info on the board to see if a Search Angel could find anything. Well, within two hours I had our birth certificate number, her dad’s obituary listing all the relatives’ names, and her Facebook photo. God just gave her to me.

I was also sharing this with my parents. I didn’t keep any secrets. They didn’t keep secrets from me, and I was their child they raised with the same beliefs. My husband found her phone number in the phone book on the computer. But I didn’t use it right away because I was struggling with whether or not I was going to open a huge can of worms for her, cause her grief and pain, or destroy her relationships, especially if her family did not know about me. I was content and secure with my life. I didn’t need to know her to feel complete.

At the same time, I would go to a coffee shop and write. I’m a writer. One day I was talking to the owner, who made a great latte, by the way. She asked me if my last name was Williamson. I immediately got all teary-eyed and emotional, and she came to give me a hug and asked me what she had said. Williamson was the last name of my birth mother, whom I had not called. She said she had no idea why she said that name.

I told her God had just used her to let me know, “I, God, have given her to you. Call her.”

That night, December 14th, 2009, I called. Her husband answered the phone. I was mortified, hoping I had not just destroyed her life and brought up her past that she never wanted. I told her my name, that my hair was red like hers, my birthday, and that I would love to talk to her, but I wanted to know what she wanted to do. Then I paused. She paused. Then she said, “Can I put you on hold?”

Later, she told me she looked at her husband and asked, “This is my baby. Can I talk to her?” We just had our 16-year anniversary of that call.

She was also a Christian. We put the characteristics of Galatians 5:22–23, the Fruit of the Spirit, into practice straight away. It was already our lifestyle, and we practiced love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. We always think of one another when we talk, my mom included, being careful not to dredge up the past. There is nothing back there we need. We started from December 14 and went forward.

We shared recipes, fun family photos, traditions, and became good friends. My mom was a little more cautious. She needed proof that my birth mother was not going to hurt me, was not trying to replace her, and didn’t want anything from me. It took my mother nine years to finally be curious enough to ask questions. I shared small details here and there, but my mom never asked any follow-up questions.

Finally, they met on neutral ground. My mom and birth mother talked for two hours. Her husband and my dad talked for two hours. I was in the building but had other responsibilities and was not privy to their conversations. After the event, later that night, my mom said, “They are such nice people.” I wanted to yell, “I know!” But my mom had to do it in her own time. God was working on her heart just like He was working in all of our hearts as well.

This is long, and I could write so much more. Actually, I have written and published my story, called Adoption Reimagined: Building Relationships in the Adoption Arena and What to Do When It Doesn’t Work. I am also a life coach, and I weave in the nine Fruit of the Spirit and strategies to help adoptees, adoptive moms, and birth mothers navigate difficult situations and the trauma that adoption can create.

I will end with this: patience is the key. My daughter got married in August, and my birth mother sat next to my mom, who sat next to me on the front row. When I asked my mother if she could sit on the front row, my mother said, “Of course! Where else would she sit?” I am so glad I made the call.

If you need help navigating the adoption arena, want my book or book a call, visit my website. Click here: ADOPTION REIMAGINED

Adoption Reimagined: The Heart of You Matters

The way you handle other people’s gratitude shows your heart’s health. 

Some cannot be thankful or show gratitude towards others because …. I’ll just say it… they think it’s all about them. Is that you? Are you incapable of showing gratitude towards others because you filter everything through your broken story! 

It is possible to acknowledge other people‘s viewpoint and simultaneously, not adopt their position. How? Don’t compare. 

“Even if your situations are completely different, offering a compassionate ear and appropriate reaction can be a balm for many hurt feelings. No story can be compared with another.” Adoption Reimagined, page 24

Comparison focuses on the differences.

Comparison steals the joy and casts a shadow over gratitude.

It is healthy to learn to have a balanced state where one emotion does not take over. Is your personality bent towards the negative? Are you bossy or pushy?

Having that emotional balance is achievable. How? 

“… take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5

Here are some ways to take every thought captive:

1. Intentionally imagine yourself handling your emotions in a positive way when you are triggered before it happens.

2. Intentionally examine what you put into your mind, heart and soul. It will come out. Eliminate what is not beneficial.

3. What can you intentionally add to your lifestyle that is positive that changes your mindset? 

4. Keep life simple by decluttering your space. 

5. Make a list of what you are grateful for. Read it every morning and every night and add to it.

6. Determine what you can control and what you can’t. Pray for the things you can’t control and how you can have a different perspective about them.

The heart of your matter is this: Gratitude is a way to guide your feelings instead of allowing your feelings to guide you.

The way you react to others who are grateful shows your heart’s health. Do you need a tune-up? Do you need a heart transplant? Do you need to reimagine your adoption?

If you want to know more about the strategies from Adoption Reimagined, DM me and I’ll send you a list.

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