Adoption Reimagined: Intro

Purpose for this book is for 3-fold: understand all perspectives with compassion; accept without personal compromise; educate with boldness.

Adoptive Parents:

Adoption Reimagined offers hope to adoptive parents by encouraging them to instill their traditions and heritage in their child as they build a foundation on love, acceptance, honesty and trust. These ideals can help their child navigate feelings of abandonment, rejection and uncertainty as they learn about their beginning. It is important that parents realize all their child’s feelings are valid and can co-exist together. Parents can redirect children to learn to ‘camp out’ with the beneficial emotions that give hope and future while getting strength from the negative feelings to advance ahead.

Adoptees:

Adoption Reimagined offers healing to adoptees by inspiring them to adopt healthy strategies that reroute pain caused by adoption. While revisiting these painful areas is inevitable, strategies can help adoptees take back stolen power and control in their life as they decide to not ‘camping out’ in the past. One powerful tool is to boldly and kindly educate others about adoption issues.

"Use your past experiences to educate so someone else's future will be better." Erin E. McEndree

Birth Mothers:

Adoption Reimagined cultivates peace in birth mothers by helping them discern personal growth from the hard lessons in life. Lessons like grace and forgiveness can alleviate the pain of loss, guilt and shame.

Those Who Love Us:

Adoption Reimagined is also for those spectators who love someone in the adoption arena. Awareness and knowledge is the key to being able to have helpful dialog with someone you care about.

Adoption Reimagined: Chapter One: Perspective

What's your perspective on adoption? There are many. Are you the adoptive parent? The adoptee? The birth mother? Or someone who loves one of us? Are you in a black hole of feelings looking up towards light and harmony you can't reach?

If I ask 100 people to describe their part in adoption, I will get 100 different perspectives, many different details, a distinct focus from each and diverse parts of a single theme. None are wrong. Each is explaining from the same foundation, but because of past experience, personalities and upbringing, all will focus on different aspects of the same situation. That which ties us together is only a blip at the beginning. After that, so many factors mold us, change our trajectory and present many paths. There is not one aspect, emotion or characteristic of adoption that 100% of those dealing with adoption issues have in common except for the word adoption.

Even the word adoption means so many different things to people. Depending on which area of adoption you are dealing with, definitions change. It all comes down to perspective. My mom said adoption was a blessing that allowed her and my dad to have children; they could not otherwise. My birth mother said adoption was a necessity her parents chose, but the hardest thing she ever had to do; she had no voice and no choice. She still deals with the decision others made for her to this day. I say adoption is a fact in my life, but never defined my life and didn’t cause difficulty in my life. That is three perspectives that are true for us, but there are more perspectives that differ that are also true.

Being able to hear others different perspectives, views and feelings about their story and at the same time, not inserting yourself into their story, is the most helpful quality each person with adoption issues can do for one another. Sadly, being able to say, “I hear you. I empathize with you,” is hard for many. This chapter focuses on the characteristic of goodness even when there are differing perspectives, feelings and circumstances.

Goodness is the quality of being decent, having integrity and showing qualities of virtue. I have heard a definition of integrity as what you do when no one is looking. I would also add that integrity is not caving to differing ideas when attacks or pressure is applied. How would anyone even know if you had integrity or not? They will observe your actions, comments and reactions. Goodness is not debating over disputable matters, trying to get someone on your side of a matter or trying to change their views about a commonly shared subject.

The overflow of your heart pours out integrity and goodness or indecency and iniquity. Your character pours out largely based on what you stand for and what you value? Are you divided in how you present yourself to others? Do you portray certain qualities for certain people and other qualities for another? Goodness is not divided. It is having the same characteristics with your family, at work, at the grocery store and on social media and even with the adoptive parents, adoptee or birth mother/parent in your life. Not knowing what you stand for and what you value will propel you into a fake life trying to please others, compromise for others and lobby for their approval, all the while feeling devalued, used and unimportant.

Challenge: Be the light in the darkness so that you add light to where you are. You just may find out there is a ladder you never noticed. Your light will shine on everyone around you and seeing their 'light' (perspective) may help you with some darkness of your own.

New Beginnings...Before January

The year is winding down. It is usually the time to evaluate what went well and what needs attention. However, for me, it is time for a new beginning and I won't wait until January. With a little hard work and extra hours, it is ready NOW.

I'm Erin and I am the founder of Steeped In Purpose. I am a Certified Life Coach and Mental Health Coach for women. I began Steeped In Purpose, in 2016 because I saw so many women settling for timidity and secretly suppressing their God-given gifts. I focus on advancing emotional, mental, physical, relational and spiritual health in a positive, forward motion to help women gain confidence and worth.

I offer new perspectives, coping skills and strategies to overcome fear, anger and resentment even when circumstances are not ideal. My aim is to help you acknowledge your part in healing and growth and realize you are not alone.

To learn more about the programs I offer, go to my website, www.steepedinpurpose.com

I am jumping in with both feet to offer selected courses each month, starting in January with Weigh Down for your physical health and Goal Planning to get your year moving in a positive direction. I am also so close to completing a mini-course for business minded entrepreneurs called Align Your Message, Share Your Mission: Uncluttered. I will also be launching more information on my new project, Adoption Reimagined. So, keep a look out.

For now, I hope you make time to peruse the content at my website: www.steepedinpurpose.com There is plenty to explore and it is changing weekly. Sign up to receive my Purpose Periodicals that include upcoming events and courses and if coaching seems like the best next step for you, don't wait, schedule a Chat with me so see if I can help you.

Romans 15:13, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."