top of page
  • Writer's pictureErin E. McEndree

I find motivation in so many places to keep on keeping on. God has given me a purpose. I know God is communicating with me. I don't audibly hear Him, but I see signs everywhere. I've been looking for them for years and He just sent me another one.

I don't remember where this quote came from, but I knew it was a message for me. I set it as the lock screen on my phone to prompt me to 1) do what is in front of me to do, 2) do what I know I need to do, but don't feel like it, 3) don't do what I feel like doing in some cases.

Basically, I need to deny myself and choose to Do Life With God every day, every hour, every minute. Why? Because doing life with God translates doing my life for others... like Jesus did. Romans 8:29 says to conform into the image of his Son. His purpose was to make a way for others to be reconciled back to the Father. My life's mission is for my ripple effect to make the teaching about God our Savior attractive (Titus 2:10).

How am I doing that? Writing a book about my life. My adoption story is filled with stories and how people applied the lessons that make people say, "I want that!"

This little photo up in the clouds helps me remember that all lives touch other lives in a positive or negative way. I get to choose which way. I get to choose how intense the ripple is. I must let my story go out into the world and land where God wills! Right now, I have to get up when I don't want to get up to hear from God. I have to deny myself and do what God had set in front of me to do: share my most important asset with you... my story.

Hello! Erin here! As I continue to edit to get closer to publication, I want to share some snapshots of what is to come. Enjoy!

Is your mind is a hamster wheel of over-thinking and endless loops asking What-If? Take your feelings out of the driver seat. Imagine you could reach the end of your adoption issues and be content even when you don’t know the answers to your burning questions. You can do this by turning your What-Ifs into But If Not.

If you never find an answer that satisfies your mind, are you going to stay on the hamster wheel called What-If? How is that working for you so far? I challenge you to change What If to But If Not. Right now is your life. You can’t change one thing in the past. You can’t change variables from your beginning with What-If statements. You cannot change the decisions others made when you were that variable. You can, however, have a whole new attitude if you incorporate But If Not into your thought patterns.

Nothing in the past can guide your future unless you allow it. The past is like an annoying backseat driver in your car questioning your every turn and manipulating your route. You can kick the voice behind you out of the car if you intentionally change the constant stream of What-Ifs that are hurled from the back seat. Tweaking one phrase in your thoughts can change everything because But If Not puts the control back in your hands. What If seems to address what others could have done differently.

However, But If Not focuses on how you react to situations beyond your control. You can do nothing about the What Ifs, but you have all the control if you change your perspective to But If Not.

Practice: 'What if I never....... But if not, I will carry on being who I choose to be."

Pain can be caused by not knowing what you stand for and what you value. Your mind changes scenarios over and over, lamenting on what you could have done differently because your values change, too. The What-Ifs keep you running in circles with the illusion that after the next turn the answer will become clear. Your pain is created in pining over the What-Ifs. However, when you change the focus to But If Not, you are intentionally putting yourself in the driver seat. You decide to deal with what is right in front of you instead of the ghost you can’t see. Knowing what you stand for helps you say, “But even if I never know, I will thrive in life. But even if they don’t accept me, it won’t define me.” This attitude puts the control with you and not with elements of life you have no control over.

  • Writer's pictureErin E. McEndree

It is important to hear different perspectives to get a richer, fuller understanding of another person. Different perspectives are not wrong. They are just different. Hearing someone else's perspective does not mean you also must agree with it. It does not mean you must incorporate the beliefs into your thoughts or actions. It also does not harm you! You don’t have to yield to the perspective to show decency towards the person who sees things in a different way. Showing grace towards other view points is a way to show your goodness and decency.

Some perspectives may make your blood boil, but it is still 100% valid for the owner of that perspective. Have you ever thought that your negative reaction to different perspectives is caused because you are subconsciously comparing their story to your own? Comparing leads to division, disputes and those are dead ends.

bottom of page