The Lord has never been more near than when he was creating you and knitting you together in your mothers womb. God created you and all artist love their creation. When we are born, there becomes a chasm between us and God called the world and life. God pursues us our whole life. He yearns to be close to us again and he knows it’s possible if only his creation (you) will seek him and yearn to be close to him also. However, the worries and trials of the world take your eyes off God and create such a dense fog you can't see through to Him. The concerns of your life keep you distracted. Your worries make God hazy. A thick fog gets even more dense as the weight of the worldly focus increases.
The fog that keeps God out of reach and out of sight can be lifted with our refocus and retraining of our minds.
The fog may seem thick and unmanageable. But the white clouds can lift when you are willing to put effort into getting as close to God on earth as heavenly possible. Even the most thick fog cannot hide what is right next to you.
Put effort into getting as close to God on earth as heavenly possible.
There will always be a membrane between the heavenly realm (God) and the earthly realm (you), but it is your choice how translucent that membrane is between you and God. It can be like polished glass or frosted. Mary Dumuth wrote a book called A Thin Place. She discusses that the closer you get to God here on earth, the thinner that a membrane is between you and God. What a wonderful feeling to feel and see God. But a wonderful sight to see God through the thin membrane because we have gotten as close to heaven as earthly possible.
You can get as close to heaven as earthly possible.
Are you still in a fog concerning your adoption issues? I propose to refocus. Take your mind and attention off your adoption and place them on God. It’s hard to understand but when you are close to God, things become in focus. Even the things we have no answers for and can’t understand have clarity.