Adoption Reimagined: The Heart of You Matters

The way you think about your beginning shows your heart‘s health.

As an adoptee, I refuse to make up a whole fantasy story about my beginning. I can assume I must’ve felt abandoned and rejected when I was born. I could revert all the way back to my birth (52 years in my case) and say every bad thing in my life was because of it and what immediately followed. That is a waste of time.

Dwelling and obsessing on the past causes more heart trauma than heart health. It’s not beneficial to my life. How can pining away at something I know nothing about be beneficial to me at all? Reimagine your adoption.

“I decided it [adoption] would not make me feel loss. I would not be deceived to think I missed out. I decided it would be a fun fact to know, not a broken rudder steering me into a sea of emotion.” Adoption Reimagined page 73

What guides me and brings me comfort? Based on Truth, God knew exactly where I needed to be and how best to reach me.

“From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’ “ Acts 17:26-28

I focus on faith, peace, contentment, and joy. I refuse to let adoption, create confusion, drama, chaos, doubt, fear, bitterness, depression, anxiety, and cause my mind to make up struggles in my life that are not even there.

I focus forward on love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

I lean on this Truth: “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”Philippians 3:12-14

For me, this Scripture is proof that there is nothing back there I need. Not an explanation. Not an original birth certificate. Not the identity of my birth father. Not even an apology.

The heart of your matter is this by John Bevere, “How you react under pressure is how the real you reacts."

The way you react to your beginning shows your heart’s health. Do you need a tune-up? Do you need a heart transplant? Do you need to reimagine your adoption?

If you want to know more about the strategies from Adoption Reimagined, DM me and I’ll send you a list.

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Adoption Reimagined NEWSLETTER has arrived! Issue #1

What is your biggest struggle with different perspectives on adoption? Mine? My biggest struggle is when other's assume my story should be like theres. I had a guy tell me I needed to search more because I obviously have not found my trauma yet. I really struggle to be nice when people generalize and say "All" or "Every" adoptee feels rejected. Then, they don't listen to my point of view and just say I am in the fog. The one-size-fits-all mentality is what I struggle with because I know it not like that for everyone in the adoption arena.

Two Areas My Coaching Can Help You Thrive in the Adoption Arena

I am a unique kind of Life Coach. My approach is different than what you may understand about Life Coaching.

Life Coaching is planning forward for the future.

I help my clients think forward, plan forward and build forward. There is really nothing in the past you need. The past is what brought you to this point: needing guidance. So, let me help you grow into something different than your past.

No one stood at a river wondering how they would cross and plan to built a bridge backwards in the opposite direction. No one, on their 10th anniversary, started planning their wedding.

No one builds a bridge backwards

#1 Relationships

Many adoptees want to build relationships using a backwards model of reclaiming or experiencing everything they have lost in the past.

I am here to help you move forward in relationships where you had to jump right in the middle of with no prior history. I don’t help you look back. I help you build a bridge forward, planning forward and thinking forward. I guide you to other paths when a bridge is not possible. That is hope even amid the scars.

There is HOPE even amid scars

#2 Behaviors

Many adoptees have identified their destructive behaviors— they don’t need the identification process. They need the strategies to help them move forward.

I am a different kind of Life Coach because I discuss behaviors in the present. I help them explain what they do. I discuss their future. I help them see what is possible and how to choose it in the future.

I don't start with the past and go forward. The past is only useful to motivate you to create the steps that help you move forward. What has caused the behavior will come out, but examining the past I will leave up to counselors and psychologists. We all have our place.

My method is a forward thinking approach for my clients. I have two nicknames from friends that are appropriate and that explain my method: George, like the curious monkey and Tigger, like the positive, bouncy tiger. I want to instill a curiosity and wonder for knowledge that changes lives while pointing you to gratitude and positivity even in the midst of the storm around you.

Positivity in storms

Are you curious about the possibilities that my coaching can open up? Are you willing to focus on ever ounce of gratitude while in your storm?

Let's chat. First session is free to see if my services can benefit you and we will make a plan.

Email me at https://www.steepedinpurpose.com/contact

or text to schedule a chat at 817-992-3177.

To buy my book, Adoption Reimagined: Building Relationships in the Adoption Arena and What To Do When It Doesn't Work, click the link here.